Nemo and the Disgruntled Spectator

So, the band and I are playing at this really small club behind a coffee shop. I’m thrashing my bass guitar for all it’s worth and generally making a fool of myself on this tiny stage. I can’t remember what song I was playing, but I couldn’t help noticing a man in the audience giving me death stares. On closer inspection, it’s clear he’s had a few drinks and is a little worse for wear.

Anyway, it turns out this guy has prosthetic limbs—both of his legs and one of his arms are artificial. I have no idea what happened to him, but he only has one working arm.

We continue performing, but he really doesn’t like what we’re playing. So, he proceeds to remove all of his prosthetic limbs and throw them, one at a time, at members of the band and onto the stage. I came dangerously close to being taken out by a low-flying leg.

After we finish, his friend approached us to retrieve his two legs and arm.

I ask him what his friend’s problem was, and he tells me not to worry about it—that he’s always getting legless at gigs.